May Roundup, now that it's June

So we've been a little absent. Or otherwise occupied. But now that summer vacation has officially begun and I don't have anything better to do until I find a pointless, low-paying job to occupy the next three months, while allowing for some travel and hopefully not too many weekend shifts, I can come back to our wonderful blog and my four anxious readers. There, there, readers. Everything is going to be alright.

So what have we been up to? Well, finals took up the first weeks of May, an unrelenting soft core frenzy of papers, exams, and, in my mind, a nice montage of late night study sessions set to some inspirational power ballads. I always think of "Let the River Run" when I do that, even though that's supposed to be about working in the era of shoulder pads. Anyway.

Folk Metal also graduated from business school. Congratulations. More importantly, congratulations on his straight A's. We spent most of the middle week in May cleaning the apartment in preparation for a corollary event - our parents meeting for the first time. Which went something like this:

Me: Dr. Folk Metal Sr., this is my mom, Lt. Commander Jezebel Sr. And this is Mrs. Folk Metal Sr.
Dr. FM: Nice to meet you.
LCDR J: You too.
Mrs. FM: Hello.
LCDR J: Hello.
Mrs. FM: So, should we head off to the graduation ceremony then?
Me: Sure, let me grab our coats.

And that was about it. I almost had to separate them. It was a lovely event stained only by the abhorent key note speaker who told the grads that the smartest people he knew in business were the ones with no college education at all. This, to an audience who had just dropped $70,000 on tuition. Bravo, asshole.

Anyway, 48 hours after that we jetted off to Costa Rica for a week long vacation of the active sort. I am proud to announce that I went snorkling and ocean kayaking even with the threat of sharks, albeit tiny little reef sharks (WITH HUGE TOE-RIPPING MONSTER TEETH), hiked through a jungle teeming with head-sized spiders and a naturalist guide who warned us not to grab onto any branches because it might be a poisonous pit viper or coral snake, and golfed among bellowing velociraptors who turned out to be very, very angry howler monkeys. I also learned the value of a cold mojito. Or five. We returned from vacation completely exhausted and sunburned, as it should be.

It took us about a week to get our clothes unpacked and washed, our Tivo emptied, our fridge restocked, and our routine resumed which brought us to last weekend and a birthday party for a dear friend who turned 25 again. Or 16, I forget. There was a lot of tequila involved. But on Monday both Folk Metal and I had to leave the accomodating student schedule behind and wake up for stuff. Early. FM started his new job and I had to report for ... duh duh duh ... Jury Duty.

I actually really enjoyed performing my public duty and I was happy to do so. It was pull your own fingernails off boring at some times, as Juror #7, "Snoring McDroolerson," demonstrated, but the deliberations were pretty exciting and I felt that we came back with a just and fair verdict. Plus I got $4. I absolutely hated the plaintiff's attorney, who couldn't even remember his own client's name, but we found in his favor anyway and awarded some moolah for pain and suffering. My advice: drive carefully and write shit down. Juries do not like automobile hijinks or people who change their stories from the deposition.

So that brings us to today. The day of the beast. I have no job and no TV to watch so I might have to do something drastic like "exercise" or "dishes." Shudder.

So happy campers, I wish you all a beautiful and warm Tuesday, lovely mojitos, and hot tantric sex.